On the journey to recapture my fitness, I am trying to remind myself to draw on my chi. Chi Running, defines chi (pronounced ‘chee’) as the energy that unites body, mind, and spirit.  How awesome is that.  If only I could learn to tap into that!

A few years ago, when we traveled to in San Francisco, CA for the Nike Women’s Marathon, my running partner and I purchased stones with Chinese symbols engraved on them.  We each chose a symbol that had special meaning for us.  We often trade them at the beginning of a race as a symbol of support for each other.  We call them our chi.

As fun things often do, they took on a life of their own.  On our training runs, if  someone just a little faster ran past us, we would challenge ourselves and pick up the pace, shouting “It’s our chi!”

If someone sprinted by much faster, we would look at each other and proclaim, “Not my chi!”

Those little engraved stones have become a symbol of support and companionship, but occasionally even they aren’t enough to push me up a hill.

Years ago, someone told me a secret to running hills.  You should visualize a rope at the top of the hill and imagine someone is pulling you forward.  It’s a great visualization and can help.  But it can’t really pull you.  You still have to move your legs and when you haven’t trained; well it isn’t as easy to make it up the hill.

Recently, I was out for a run with my two favorite running partners.  It was an easy and pleasant run and things were going well.  We were at the start of our training plan, so the run was short and not too aggressive.  Near the end of the run, we were faced with a hill.  The hill is about a 45 degree incline alongside a busy road. When I looked ahead and saw the hill I said, “I’m going to run to the bottom of the hill and then I’ll walk the actual hill.”  I was thinking I was already tired and would not have the energy to run up the hill.  Both my companions nodded and headed for the hill determined to beat it.

I realized I had allowed anticipatory failure to keep me from making it up the hill.  No it’s not ‘rocket science’ but for me it was an eye opener.  I actually got it.  If you don’t start, you can’t finish is a real thing.  I ran the hill, huffing and puffing the entire way, but I didn’t stop until I reached the top.  Even if I had taken a break half way it would have been fine.  I wasn’t attempting to set a record, just keep moving until my body said stop instead of my head.

I have a half marathon to run in this weekend and haven’t trained as well as I could have, but I never do.  I considered switching to the 10k instead.  Then I remembered the hill and changed my mind.  I may not finish, but I will start and I will listen to my body not the anticipatory failure in my head.