(a guest post by Valkyrie) you can follow the blog itsallinthejourney on WordPress.

By now I’m sure you’ve seen something going around the internet along the lines of: “At interviews five years ago none of us were correct on where we would be five years from now”. Which is absolutely true, I doubt any of us could have anticipated everything that has happened this year…and we’re only halfway through. For me, I could not have foreseen the biggest curve-ball 2020 threw at me: pregnancy. Honestly, when I found out and subsequently was able to wrap my head around the circumstances, I thought it was rather funny. Very “on brand” for me and my life: getting pregnant in the middle of what very well could be the apocalypse. Strangely though I feel calmer than I did at the start of the year. This pregnancy has brought me closer to my family, my partner’s family and helped me take better care of myself. It has been very eye-opening to hear tales of my mother and grandmother’s personal experiences with their pregnancies and how they navigated parenthood. I won’t go into too much detail, but I will list some of my favorite things I’ve heard.

1. My mother was apparently such an active child that she would run laps around the house (this continued/transformed into a high school track and field career).
2. My grandmother had two of the easiest pregnancies and deliveries I have heard of in my entire life (this one makes me both a little jealous and wary. I want an easy and quick delivery, but not so quick that I don’t get my epidural).
3. My own birth was surrounded by chaos for my loved ones. I.e. back surgery [grandad] and graduating from the Marines [biological father].

How I found out was interesting as well. It started with my grandmother thinking I was pregnant because I had complained of some nausea. Instead of coming to me, she calls my mother with her concerns. Who then proceeds to also worry, buy not 1 but 3 pregnancy tests and show up at my house.  It has led to a running joke that my grandmother is a witch. Even if no one else thinks it is funny my grandma and I do so I count that as a win. I am now 5 months pregnant; my daughter is due around November 18th and I am both terrified and excited. I have no idea how the U.S. will be then in regard to the virus. I believe my partner will be able to be with me…I hope, but I am not sure. The way the government has currently been “handling” the situation does not make me very hopeful. I hope they change my mind. Even if I do get to have him there with me, I have been warned there is a good possibility of fainting. According to my partner, not only does he hate needles, but his father does as well. This led to his father passing out at the time my partner was born. Cue the slight sigh of stress. I can only imagine how I will be feeling going into labor, I truly do not want to even imagine my partner falling to the floor when I get the epidural…

It is strange how much peace an unplanned pregnancy has brought to my life. I have just moved into a new house with my partner, my grandparents are also getting ready to move here, and everything just generally feels like it’s falling into place. I have been extremely fortunate that this pandemic has not put too much of a wrench in my life. I do not get out much, and I don’t mind wearing a mask when I absolutely must go out. The main way I have been affected is dealing with the pregnancy itself. My doctor’s visits are a very stark reminder of how different the world we are currently living in is. I can’t bring people with me, so my partner is having to miss out on some of these classic “pregnancy moments”. He gets to see all the pictures and he’s been able to feel her kick a couple of times now (spoiler: we’re having a daughter) but it’s a wonderful experience to see your child in the womb and hear their heartbeat. I can honestly say it has not gotten old and I am now 5 months pregnant. I wish he could share these experiences with me, but I understand it is a necessary and relatively small sacrifice to make for my safety and others. A lot of “normal” pregnancy things are having to be foregone due to the pandemic and everything, sometimes I can feel guilty trying to be excited about it. I try not to post too much about it or talk about it because I feel bad. But that is honestly so minor compared to what the rest of the world has been going through, again, I feel fortunate. I get to be with the love of my life, focus on my health and optimistically plan for our future.

It is the biggest comfort to me in these times and I feel we could all benefit from our interpersonal connections. Whether it be with strangers through a screen to romantic partners, humans need companionship and compassion. We need each other if we are to survive. So, I guess to wrap this up, I would like to send out a big hug and lots of love and positivity out to all of you. You deserve it. We have survived another day, and we will survive another. You are stronger than you know.