Category: Humor/Light Hearted

The Best Laid Plans……

On By DGThomaIn Family, Food, Humor/Light Hearted, Writing1 Comment

to paraphrase Robert Burns.

I am a true believer in eating as ‘cleanly’ as possible.  Everyone has their own definition of what that means.  For me, I try to cook whenever I can with basic, fresh ingredients.

I wish I could make fresh, healthy meals every night but I rarely have time during the work week.  We are out the door early and return home late.  When I do decide to cook on a week night, I try to plan in advance.  I want to know exactly what I need to do when I walk through the door.

When I decided I would make “beef” stroganoff veggie style, (the shortcut version) for a Thursday night, I tried to plan ahead.  I made sure I had all the ingredients I needed on hand before I went shopping over the weekend.  I intended to use “crumbles” (textured vegetable protein), cream of mushroom soup and low-fat yogurt instead of sour cream.  Check!  All ingredients were on hand.

On Thursday, traffic was reasonably light  and we were home by 7:30 PM.  I put the water on to boil,  pulled the jar of mushrooms from the cabinet and discovered they were shitake, my least favorite kind.  No problem, I decided to chop them into tiny pieces to camouflage them.  I reached for a can of mushroom soup, only to discover it was golden mushroom which has beef broth in it.  2015-04-05 17.23.16

Since I don’t eat beef, that would not work.  No problem, I pulled some instant Lipton Beefy Onion from the cabinet.  Interestingly enough, a quick internet search revealed Lipton Beefy Onion doesn’t have any beef in it.  Thinking I better re-check the pantry for the remaining ingredients, I found my rice milk carton had been emptied, but I did spot the yogurt carton on the top shelf.

While the pasta cooked, I mixed the Lipton soup mix.  It was a lot more liquid than I remembered.  I started “browning” the crumbles and stirred the mushrooms into the skillet.  The recipe called for Worcestershire sauce and black pepper, so I added those to the mix and reached for the yogurt.  Strawberry!  Hmmm.  Well, I didn’t think I could fix this one.  By now I started thinking maybe I really wasn’t supposed to make dinner after all.  Maybe pizza night wasn’t such a bad idea.

My husband got back in the car and headed to the store for mushroom soup.  And since he was going anyway, I asked him to pick up sour cream instead of yogurt.  I tossed the cooked noodles into the skillet with the crumbles and seasonings and set it aside to wait until he got back from the store.  When he returned he brought sour cream but no cream of mushroom soup.  Total miscommunication.  He knew I had used the Liptons soup and thought I no longer needed the cream soup.

Well by this time I didn’t think it really mattered.  My carefully planned meal was not working out quite the way I anticipated it would.  Trying not to toss in the towel and order pizza, I stirred in the sour cream and a little veggie broth and forgot all about the milk.

The final product was surprisingly good.  It was not the culinary delight I had intended, but all things considered it wasn’t too bad…..2015-04-05 17.24.21

Not my Chi…..Anticipatory Failure

On By DGThomaIn Exercise, Family, Friends, Humor/Light Hearted, Musings, Writing5 Comments

On the journey to recapture my fitness, I am trying to remind myself to draw on my chi. Chi Running, defines chi (pronounced ‘chee’) as the energy that unites body, mind, and spirit.  How awesome is that.  If only I could learn to tap into that!

A few years ago, when we traveled to in San Francisco, CA for the Nike Women’s Marathon, my running partner and I purchased stones with Chinese symbols engraved on them.  We each chose a symbol that had special meaning for us.  We often trade them at the beginning of a race as a symbol of support for each other.  We call them our chi.2015-03-25 18.31.44

As fun things often do, they took on a life of their own.  On our training runs, if  someone just a little faster ran past us, we would challenge ourselves and pick up the pace, shouting “It’s our chi!”

If someone sprinted by much faster, we would look at each other and proclaim, “Not my chi!”2015-03-25 18.33.29

Those little engraved stones have become a symbol of support and companionship, but occasionally even they aren’t enough to push me up a hill.

Years ago, someone told me a secret to running hills.  You should visualize a rope at the top of the hill and imagine someone is pulling you forward.  It’s a great visualization and can help.  But it can’t really pull you.  You still have to move your legs and when you haven’t trained; well it isn’t as easy to make it up the hill.

Recently, I was out for a run with my two favorite running partners.  It was an easy and pleasant run and things were going well.  We were at the start of our training plan, so the run was short and not too aggressive.  Near the end of the run, we were faced with a hill.  The hill is about a 45 degree incline alongside a busy road. When I looked ahead and saw the hill I said, “I’m going to run to the bottom of the hill and then I’ll walk the actual hill.”  I was thinking I was already tired and would not have the energy to run up the hill.  Both my companions nodded and headed for the hill determined to beat it.

Hill no plate

I realized I had allowed anticipatory failure to keep me from making it up the hill.  No it’s not ‘rocket science’ but for me it was an eye opener.  I actually got it.  If you don’t start, you can’t finish is a real thing.  I ran the hill, huffing and puffing the entire way, but I didn’t stop until I reached the top.  Even if I had taken a break half way it would have been fine.  I wasn’t attempting to set a record, just keep moving until my body said stop instead of my head.

I have a half marathon to run in this weekend and haven’t trained as well as I could have, but I never do.  I considered switching to the 10k instead.  Then I remembered the hill and changed my mind.  I may not finish, but I will start and I will listen to my body not the anticipatory failure in my head.

Oh What a Tangled Web We Weave and that can be a good thing!

On By DGThomaIn Family, Friends, Humor/Light Hearted, WritingLeave a comment

The sky was dreary and hectic as I attempted to get into the car with my arms full.    I shoved my crochet bag into the seat and watched as it tumbled on its side, spilling the contents.  While I picked up scattered yarn and shoved everything back into the bag, a nice drizzle began to sprinkle the ground.

As we got under way, I reached for the bag to pull out a skein of yarn and discovered, the yarn I needed was missing!  I must have missed it when I picked everything else up.

When we arrived home 12 hours later, I found a rain soaked mass of yarn with the bent needle still attached.  We had run over the yarn as we left.

I decided to wash the yarn and see if it could be saved. I found a nylon laundry bag for washing dedicates and dropped the yarn inside. What came out of the dryer …… a tangled mess!

Still hoping I could save the skein, I spread the mass of yarn on the guest bed.

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I stared at the tangle of thread and smiled.  It reminded me of another web of string I had untangled as a young camp fire girl.

My mother was my Camp Fire leader and a quilter.    She had a wooden quilting rack suspended from the ceiling.  For a fun activity at one of our meetings she created a web of fun.   Twine was looped around the rack and left to hang a few feet off the floor.  At the end of each string, she tied a piece of candy or a pack of gum or some other small token.  It looked like a multitude of prizes hung from that rack.  In reality only 10-15 strands dangled.  The strings were then crisscrossed and woven through each other until she had created a web with treats suspended at varying levels across the network of twine.

To my eight year old self, it was a treasure hunt.  The idea was to pick a string  and work to the prize of choice.  It sounds easy now, but with 8-10 girls vying for a position and pulling on strings, it was near impossible to predict which prize dangled from which beginning.  I wish I had a picture to show you, but I don’t.   There is a lovely picture, but it only exists in my memory.  The package of Wrigley’s spearmint gum dangled at the end of my string.  At that moment the gum was a treasured prize. This has always been one of my favorite childhood memories.   As I sit in the floor and work on my tangle of yarn, my heart is happy.

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It took hours and tremendous patience to untangle this mess. I considered stopping and tossing the lot in the recycle bin several times.   Now I am glad I persevered!

The untangling is done and I will find something special to create from it. Maybe I will create a new memory that will give someone else a smile.

2015-02-11 00.02.14

 

Just A Bumming Around

On By DGThomaIn Family, Humor/Light Hearted, Writing2 Comments

My Dad is a character.  When I think about him from my childhood perspective, I visualize a smile on his face.  He has a guitar in his hand and he’s telling a joke.  That’s my Dad.

young-papa1

I can still hear him singing an old Perry Como Song.   It was my favorite.  At the time I knew nothing about Perry Como, this was my Dad’s song.

I got an old slouch hat
Got my roll on my shoulder
I’m as free as a breeze
And do as I please
Just to bumming around

Got a million friends
I don’t feel any older
I’ve got nothing to lose
Not even the blues
Just to bumming around

Whenever worries start
To bothering me
I grab my coat, my old slouch hat
Hit the trail again

You see, I ain’t got a dime
Don’t care where I’m going
I’m as free as a breeze
And do as I please
Just to bumming around

I hit the trail again

You see, I ain’t got a dime
Don’t care where I’m going
I’m as free as a breeze
And do as I please
Just to bumming around

Just to bumming around
Just to bumming around
Just to bumming around

He taught my nephew and my son to play.  It doesn’t happen often enough, but the few times they have all played together have been magical.

And what’s funny is my Dad never  bummed around.  He didn’t even sit down.  He always worked at a job that kept him traveling and he loved it.  When he was home he worked in our yard.  He was the first one to volunteer if anyone else needed a little help.3-11-2015 1-35-15 PM3-11-2015 1-34-37 PM

As he has grown older, he hasn’t traveled as much. For many years he cultivated a garden.  He seldom ate the vegetables he tended, but would give them away.  Family was first in line, then friends.

He is also a collector.   To my Dad everything is a diamond in the rough.  That’s a pretty awesome perspective.  When my goddaughter first met him, he asked if she wanted the “nickel tour”.  Of course she said yes!  The “nickel tour” is a meander through his treasures with a humorous story or an anecdote about each piece.  She still talks about it today.

Years ago, he built a tractor from miscellaneous parts.  Not tractor parts, but just miscellaneous things he had on hand.  Yes it worked quite well.  He is the reason I think I can do anything if I just try hard enough.

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I love you Dad. (or Papa as he is known by most everyone.)

 

Crazy, Compulsive Multi-tasker!

On By DGThomaIn Exercise, Family, Humor/Light Hearted2 Comments

Monday morning found me standing in the shower, the water flowing, deep in thought.  I reached for face wash and realized I was about to scrub my face with my toothbrush.  Still wearing glasses,  a fitness band circling my wrist, I paused.  For a moment I wondered if I should consider taking a step back and slow down.  Nope!  One of my favorite quotes, is “Someday I won’t be able to do this, but today isn’t the day.”

I am a compulsive multi-tasker as my husband, Ron will attest.  Every morning, I get to the car with more bags than I should carry.

Many mornings, I shut the car door, buckle the seat-belt and realize my phone,  purse, or lunch is missing.  I unbuckle, go back inside and backtrack to find the missing item.

When I sit down to view a television program, I gather a novel, a crossword puzzle or a sewing project or two.  If I’m working on a writing project at my computer, I will open a class I’m enrolled in or edit a different writing project.  Hey, it helps jump start the creative process.

This month, I am actively training for a half-marathon, taking 2 online classes, working 40+ hours a week, crocheting an afghan and working on a quilt.  I say actively, because I have many other projects, in various stages.  I don’t profess to be proficient at many of the things I tackle, but I enjoy attempting new things.

During a recent day off, I took an online class in calligraphy.  When Ron asked why, I smiled and replied, “It was free, and it was fun.”

I don’t sit still well and I love variety.  Ron, however, will stop what he is doing to give me his full attention when I talk to him.   What a wondrous ability he has to focus.

In my defense, we commute an hour plus each morning and each afternoon. That’s two hours I can write, crochet and brainstorm or anything else I can manage in a car.

The next project will be a weekend of soap making for the girls, at my house.  I want to learn the process.  Sharing the experience with my daughter, granddaughter and sisters will be a lot of fun.  I can’t wait!  If anyone has a favorite recipe or special tips, I would love to hear from you.

So am I the crazy one?   Probably, but If so I like this kind of crazy!

Toto we’re not in Austin anymore…..

On By DGThomaIn Exercise, Friends, Humor/Light HeartedLeave a comment

I’m still playing catch-up on my training for the Zooma half marathon.  I am slowly building up both time and distance as the date moves closer.  Tonight we ran through downtown Austin.

We started at the Treaty Oak on Baylor and ran down 6th street toward the interstate.  At the interstate we looped around and started down 5th heading to our car.  As we ran we wove our way through tourists, 5:00 o’clock workers heading home, valets parking cars, homeless people and early evening patrons heading into one of the many bars that pepper 6th street.

We discovered a sign for the best hamburger in Austin, one that said they had the best dumplings in Austin and discovered an entirely different town alive with entertainment.

We drive these roads every day, but everything changes when you’re on the ground at 5:00 PM on 6th street in Austin.   We may not be setting any speed or distance records but we did have a lot of fun!

See you on the trails!

Motivation where for art thou?

On By DGThomaIn Exercise, Humor/Light Hearted, WritingLeave a comment

I’m not talking about the motivation of New Year’s resolutions.  I’m talking about motivation for the lifestyle of exercise and eating healthy food that I have professed to follow for the last ten years.

Never Give Up!
Never Give Up!

I know my motivation was here in December!  It was there when my good friend and running partner said, “Let’s do the ZOOMA TEXAS HALF MARATHON at the Hyatt Regency Lost Pines Resort and Spa, in Bastrop, TX.  She and I ran the half marathon in 2009.  That year, we completed a training program of sorts to prepare for the “challenging course through the scenic Texas countryside with rolling hills”.  Or as I like to describe them, “the brutal hills with a few flat stretches thrown in.

As I write this on February 7, 2015, 7:00 PM, I checked the website.  The countdown says 48 days.  Now you would think that would motivate me.  So far I have not run one full mile since the first week in December.  I hope it works!  I planned to get on the treadmill this morning, but excused myself, due to a fender bender I had yesterday.  No, I’m not really sore and I wasn’t injured, but it gave me a great excuse.  In December, we were traveling a lot, so I didn’t train.  My husband, who is always motivated, ran while we traveled.  The first week in January, I had the flu, so I took January off, even though the flu lasted less than a week.

So looking at the countdown, I have to admit, these are all a lot of excuses.  I’m out of time for excuses.  In just over 6 weeks, I have to run 13.1 miles of not so gently rolling hills.  So in the morning, my plan is to drive to Bastrop State Park and run/walk some hills.  Wish me luck!

My hope is that perhaps my motivation will return soon.  If you see it, would you please send it back?  I sure could use it about now.

Back on the Trail
Back on the Trail

P.S.  As always, be careful what you ask for!  Monday morning, two different friends reached out and invited me to go for a run with them this week.  Motivation or not, run I shall!

Veggie Burger , can I get fries with that?

On By DGThomaIn Family, Food, Humor/Light Hearted, Travel, WritingLeave a comment

When I first gave up red meat, chicken, pork etc., there were very few options for fast food dining.  Sometimes when you travel it feels like fast food is the only option and certainly the most convenient.  Today most national chain restaurants and many small local diners offer multiple options for vegetarians, vegans or any other meal plan you may follow.

Veggie burgers aren’t my favorite meal, but when Burger King started serving veggie burgers a few years ago, BK went to the top of my list for grabbing a quick meal while traveling.  Today, people who want more alternative menu choices have many more options.  I can almost always find a salad, a fish option or a bean dish.  At the Counter Custom Built Burgers in NYC, I had a wonderful custom made Ahi Tuna burger.  Many restaurants have developed their own veggie burger recipes.  Elevation Burger in Austin, TX has a vegetarian and a vegan option.  Both are equally delicious and made from real vegetables.

Recently, in the Dallas, TX area I was trying to find a quick drive thru meal.  We stopped at a Taco Cabana, but I was stuck on the phone.  I waved my husband inside thinking I just wasn’t in the mood for beans and rice.

There was an In-N-Out next door to the Taco Cabana.  We pulled up to the drive thru window, I asked, “Do you have a veggie burger?”In-N-Out

A cheery, “Yes we do!” floated through the speaker.  “Awesome”, I thought and replied, “I’ll take the combo with a veggie burger.  No cheese and no sauce.”  As she repeated back, “A veggie burger with lettuce and tomato only?”  I answered, “That’s correct.”

As I Anticipated some yummy salty French fries, I pulled up to the window.   This was my first visit to an In-N-Out burger and so far it was looking good.  Receiving my food from a smiling server, we pulled into a parking spot to “check” the order.  Diving into the fries was a delicious treat; hot, crispy, fresh and salty.  Unwrapping the burger, I quickly realized something wasn’t quite right.

There was definitely lettuce and tomato, but that was it.  No patty, just bread, lettuce and tomato.  My husband carried the burger back inside.  When the server asked if I only wanted lettuce and tomato and I said yes, that’s what I got.

20150203_175219When he came back out carrying the burger , he confirmed, “Nope, this is the In-N-Out version of a veggie burger.”  Laughing, I had a delicious lettuce and tomato sandwich.    At least it didn’t have any soy.  Kudos to In-N-Out on the most authentic veggie burger I’ve ever had.

Let it rain, Let it rain…..

On By DGThomaIn Humor/Light Hearted, Musings, WritingLeave a comment

Texas is in a drought as are many other states.  When I first moved to Central Texas 12 years ago, it rained often.  Someone once commented, a 20% chance of rain meant it would rain at least 20% of the afternoon.  And it did rain most afternoons; a light pleasant shower.

Now when rain falls, we cheer.  Rain in Austin often comes in heavy, concentrated downpours that are a deluge and cause flooding.  But we welcome any rain with glee.Rain Clouds

Last week, we had rain in Austin, Texas.  Rain fell hard and fast and it was wonderful.  I love the rain and smiled happily, as it poured.

Austin drivers are more courteous than I have experienced in other large cities.  There is a sense of camaraderie rarely found in commuter traffic.  But, drivers in Austin don’t just forget how to drive in the rain, they become ridiculous risk takers.  I wonder if the rain is so miraculous that it makes them feel invincible.

Last week, we were driving to work, rain pounding, and visibility a quarter of a mile.   The dry ponds along the highway were teeming with the brackish rain water.  As we drove through an intersection in heavy commuter traffic, a small dark car entered the flow from the left.  The car shot across four lanes to access the McDonalds parking lot on the far right. I hope the Egg McMuffin was worth jeopardizing themselves and dozens of other cars!

Remarkably, everyone survived and I heard no metal on metal screeching.  Inching forward we moved toward the next traffic light which was green.  Suddenly, the Super Shuttle van in front of us pumped the brakes and came to a full stop at the green light.  Expecting the driver to look up and move forward, we waited unable to change lanes.  We assumed he would wake soon.  Nope!  The light turned red while we were still waiting.

I could just imagine the driver, looking back at the passengers and calling, “Don’t make me come back there!”  Followed by, “I’m not moving until you settle down!”  The light changed back to green and the van made an illegal left turn from the center lane.  “Ah,” I thought.  “Missed his turn.”

As we move into 2015 I hope the drought comes to an end.  Perhaps if it does, Austin drivers will remember that when it rains you should exercise caution.

How Could I Resist “He’s the One”

On By DGThomaIn Family, Humor/Light Hearted, Musings, Travel, Writing6 Comments

I recently resurrected crocheting as a hobby.  It’s been years since I created anything with yarn and a crochet needle.  Crochet patterns and yarn have changed significantly.  I practiced on some old yarn I found stored in my sewing supplies and contemplated what I should create.

When my daughter was scheduled for surgery on her broken ankle, I knew I would have some down time while I waited.  I decided it was time to start a project.  I intended to pass time during her surgery by crocheting.  A great idea, but I didn’t get to the store before the surgery.

Because I would stay with my daughter in Tulsa while she recuperated, I picked up yarn the following evening.  Although I had crochet needles at home, I picked up a new set along with a two skeins of yarn, (Yarn Bee, First Love, he’s the one) a beginner refresher book and a basket to hold the yarn.  The baskets were half price so I couldn’t resist.

He's the one!
He’s the one!

I found a basic afghan pattern and realized I would need a lot more yarn.  The yarn I purchased was variegated so I decided not to worry about the lot#.

I headed back to the original Hobby Lobby and discovered I had bought the last two skeins.   I did find and purchase 4 small skeins of a nice cotton blend.  After all they were on clearance. How could I resist?  En route to the second Tulsa location of Hobby Lobby on East 71st, I spotted a Barnes and Nobles and decided I would duck in for just a minute.  An hour later I realized I had no idea what time the second Hobby Lobby closed.  I paid  for my books and rushed off in search of ‘he’s the one’.

As we pulled into the parking lot of the Hobby Lobby on 71st, I could see people milling about as I hurried toward the entrance.  No luck.  A store employee  waved me away and mouthed, “We are closed”.

I searched for the yarn online and discovered it appeared to be sold exclusively at Hobby Lobby.  The yarn was out of stock for on-line purchasing.  The next morning, I called the store on 71st and found out they were also out.  Apparently, ‘he’s the one!’ was a big seller.  And so began the quest for ‘he’s the one’.  An internet search identified Hobby Lobby stores in two nearby towns.  A phone call to Owasso confirmed they were out of the yarn but the Broken Arrow store had 4 skeins in stock.

My husband set off  to Broken Arrow to pick the up the yarn. He returned triumphant with the four skeins.  That was great but I still needed more yarn.

We would drive home through the Dallas area the next day, so my husband called the Dallas Hobby Lobby on Preston.  As I was making lunch, I could hear him on the phone.  “Yes, I need to see if you have a specific yarn.”  (pause) “Yarn Bee, First Love, he’s the one!”   He had to keep repeating, “First Love, he’s the one!”  as he was disconnected twice and transferred between departments.   I believe he just demonstrated, he is definitely the one!  Finally he was told that yes they did have 5 skeins. The sales clerk said no they could not hold them until tomorrow and no he couldn’t purchase them over the phone.

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Still searching for yarn, I made an afternoon trip to Tuesday Morning and found 4 skeins of cashmere yarn and 2 of a lovely wool blend on the clearance aisle.  Of course I had to buy them!

When we left Tulsa, OK for Austin, TX,  I used Google maps to locate a Hobby Lobby in Sherman, TX where we found 4 more skeins of ‘he’s the one!’  on the shelf.  Score!  Stopping by the clearance section, I found several more skeins of yarn which found their way into my cart.

Work In Progress
Work In Progress

I now have 10 skeins of ‘he’s the one’, and about the same number of skeins of miscellaneous clearance yarn.  Doing the math I realized I could use a few more of ‘he’s the one!  We set off to find the Dallas store to determine if they had any of the five skeins left.  Upon arriving, I rushed to the yarn department to grab all five skeins which were still on the shelf!  I completed the quest!  This will be a lovely and fun project!

Now I just have to buy a bigger basket for all the yarn and figure out a few more projects.  Aren’t clearance sales wonderful?